Wemby The Mathelete, Jokic’s Taco Bell Rebounds, And More, With Halfpast*noon

…The internet is divided. After Paige was in the front row for Azzi’s big night, some media members are wondering if the Dallas Wings’ duo may have amicably called it quits. For what it's worth, this is not the first I’ve heard this from media members. But boy, am I worried about their fans if it's true. 

What do Marcus Freeman, Aryna Sabalenka, Fernando Mendoza, Shams Charania, and Eileen Gu have in common? They’re all Mavericks of Sports, obviously. To combat the chaos of sports, Esquire is profiling athletes who move with dignity. You know what, hell yeah, brother.

Bay Area fans wanted her, had her, quickly lost her, and Seattle was lucky enough to get her. Everybody (especially Wale) loves Flau’jae. And everybody (especially Elle) loved her draft day fit. 

When it came to fashion and sport, basketball used to reign supreme. Now, it seems like the sports main style driver, the beloved sneaker, is in dire straits. Our lil sister newsletter, SportsVerse, did a deep dive, courtesy of guest writer James Davis. Brands, tap in, he’s got some tips.  

The Dallas Mavericks want to get rid of City Hall and replace it with an entertainment district (50 acres worth of entertainment, it turns out) that would feature a new NBA arena. Isn’t that a Joni Mitchell song?

“Go Off” is a special edition of our daily newsletter, featuring my thoughts, takes, and general vibes, presented to OffBall readers every Wednesday.

Today, I’m taking you behind the scenes of the very scientific project that was me, in partnership with our friends at halfpast*noon, compiling random stats and numbers. Imagine me in a white lab coat, standing with a clipboard as I observe my NBA specimens in their small sawdust pens. Ok, that is not how it was at all; it was more like me, in a posture that can only be described as shrimp-like, using my phone and computer at the same time, toggling between Instagram, Twitter, and the most disorganized Google Doc you’ve ever seen in your life.

Anyway, the inspo for this project came from a love of meaningless statistics, obviously. I also staunchly believe we should continue to cover the NBA in fun and creative ways. I also really love fashion and Taco Bell. So, let’s get into the stats. 

Stephen Curry’s dramatic Under Armour breakup last November has been fascinating to me. So, counting the times he wore each shoe from rival brands since the advent of his sneaker free agency was well worth my short time on this tiny rock floating through the abyss. For the record, I’m starting to wonder if he isn’t going to sign with Anta or Li-Ning?! I’ll leave that to my colleague, Daniel-Yaw Miller. 

Enter the aforementioned fashion. I’m one of Shai’s biggest fans. Not only because he is fun to watch (haters and foul-centric nicknames, be darned) but also because I really admire his personal style. And his willingness to post random rap lyrics (poems?) as captions. 

As I mentioned in my personal IG story, deciding which photos could be defined as “fit pics” was difficult. Sometimes he’ll randomly post his leg or a photo in warm-ups. Those didn’t make the final count. I decided he had to have three-quarters or more of his whole body in frame, and athletic clothing didn’t count (except for athleisure at the grocery store, which I decided did count, because he was throwing a fit on aisle nine, let’s be honest). 

One of the uncontested best collabs of the year was Nikola Jokic and the Taco Bell Quesarito. Unfortunately for Jokic, as the commenters mentioned, his numbers are mostly in decline. Except for his rebounds, which we can obviously deduce means Taco Bell gives you hops. 

Wemby is a difficult subject to study because most of his hobbies and pastimes involve more qualitative data. Monk work, Chess playing, and environmentalism are things I have a harder time getting hard numbers on without face time. But earlier this week, he proved that he is quite the mathematician. He did all this math off the dome, in front of reporters. 

These days, everyone and their hamster is a creative director. But is it actually helpful for your team to have a high-profile hip-hop artist in the head creative role at your basketball team? The Pistons would say yes. 

Colby at halfpast*noon opened my eyes to something I didn’t know before: The Celtics know ball. Settlers of Catan is an all-time board game, and they’re on a quest to play it all over the country. Rookie Hugo Gonzales, aka the keeper of the board, has bought six boards so far. 

I spent hours going through Josh Hart’s Twitter and compiling this (mostly real data) that he is more often than not tweeting about Chelsea FC. Usually, he does it in the messiest way possible. After a tough Chelsea loss (a somewhat regular occurrence this season), he’ll post something like “we’re a joke” and send Knicks Twitter into a flurry. God bless him. 

We’ve talked before about Scottie Barnes’ affinity for the theater. As a lover of the arts, he’s seen Hamilton seven times, and even acted in the Nutcracker this past year. Here’s to hoping we get more of that. 

We asked Kesha McLeod, one of our favorite athlete stylists, trusted by GOATS like Serena Williams, to write about her experience styling multiple WNBA draftees earlier this week. Here’s what she said.  

“I had a really strong group of girls overall. What was funny is that a lot of them were teammates and even roommates, but that wasn’t planned at all.

They ended up realizing I was working with all of them at the same time, and it created a really good energy. Angela had actually helped build Gianna’s board, which was super cute, so there was already a sense of familiarity with what Gianna liked. 

Since I was styling Charlisse and Gianna as well, Angela was looking at their options and making suggestions. She was like, ‘This would be perfect for Charlisse.’ 

And even on draft day, all the girls were in connecting rooms, wearing the Uggs and robes, shooting content together. Overall, it was just an amazing experience working with all the girls.”

On Angela Dugalić

“…When I first saw this dress by L’AGENCE, it just felt like her moment. 

We always build out inspo boards for each girl, and hers leaned into gowns. She referenced Zendaya and the grace she brings…

[Angela] is 6’4, very statuesque, so it was about leaning into that presence. She came in knowing what she liked — she had just bought her first Van Cleef bracelet, so she was excited, engaged, and really present in the process.”

On Gianna Kneepkens

“When I first spoke to Gianna on Zoom… she told me she wanted to wear a dress, not a suit. 

I looked at her features, her hair color, her eyes, and I pulled an olive green dress because it complements her skin tone really well. But she was like, ‘That’s not my color. I love blues.’

So we pivoted and went with this baby blue Meshki gown. I customized it a bit by swapping out the front clip for one from Lelet New York and turned it into a pin to elevate the look.”

On Charlisse Leger-Walker

“Charlisse, being from New Zealand, has one of the most amazing personalities. You feel it the second she walks into a room — she’s very expressive and fun.

We explored a mini skirt suit at first, but ultimately landed on the right balance of structure and personality. We also added pieces that reflected her, including earrings from a brand back home. Bringing in those personal touches always makes the look feel more like them.

We had gifted pieces from Ugg and Calvin Klein that she was excited about.”

On Serah Williams

“With Serah, the process was great. We tried a range of looks, mini dresses, gowns, suits, skirt suits, just to let her explore and understand what felt right.

She came in knowing she didn’t want to wear a dress, but I still had her try one gown, this beautiful salmon velvet piece by Etochs. I wanted her to see herself differently. She put it on and was like, ‘Oh my God, I look like a Barbie,’ and those moments are always my favorite.

But ultimately, we landed on a suit by Chuks Collins. Nigerian designer, UK-based, and Serah is Nigerian as well, so there was a natural alignment there. The suit felt different, sharp, and really chic on her.

We paired it with Alexandre Birman shoes to pull out the white stitching in the suit, and it all came together really well. I also helped guide her through posing and those final details, and everything came together in a really natural way.”