…Because I’ve known about Azzi and Paige being broken up basically since it happened. I’m not alone—many writers and journos in the space knew—still, I need the W. We shouldn’t feel sad for them, though. Just this weekend, Paige was living her best life at Flau’jae’s Michael Jackson-themed birthday party. Plus she was maybe with ****** ******* for a while, who was also maybe dating ******* *****. Ok I’m done being messy. 

Madison Hammond, Utah Royals defender and OffBall FC writer, officially punched her ticket to the NWSL semifinals. She has a sublime playoff preview here. 

Someday I’ll stop talking about Atlanta Falcons running back Bijan Robinson. Maybe only after he wins an Oscar for his acting chops. And speaking of acting chops, Ayesha Curry’s got ‘em, too. And if you know a man making fun of Stephen for having a wife that kisses another man for work, they probably don’t have a wife at all. 

When a Saturday night college football game runs late on NBC, it delays the programming that follows it, which, you guessed it, includes Saturday Night Live. This season alone it’s happened four times (out of five scheduled games). Imagining the cast literally waiting in the wings watching Marcus Freeman memes form in real time warms my heart. 

This isn’t really news, per se, but it is a product I'm watching and need to know more about. Daps claims to be a caffeinated fresh breath strip with B vitamins. They came across my timeline because the founder coaxed Portland Trail Blazer teammates Scoot Henderson and Donovan Clingan into trying them, and if these work, they are incredibly my type of sh*t. Founder of Daps, have your people call my people. 

I’m not one to dedicate a full block to Taylor Swift being a sports fan, but for these past few days, she’s dominated sports headlines in a way that warrants it. 

On Sunday, she was spotted in a suite at husband Travis Kelce’s game next to her former bestie and sister in tall-blonde-dom, Karlie Kloss, and it set the internet on fire. Even my internet, and I have to admit I have many of these words muted. Disclaimer: I wouldn’t say I’m a hater, but if you read this newsletter you know about my contrarian tendencies. Folklore is a banger, though. 

And this really is less of a story of friends reuniting than it is a resurrection of past rumors which theorize Karlie and Taylor (Kaylor, as a certain sect of Swifties call them) dated for a long time — yes, that website is KaylorEvidence.com. So, if you consider that to be true, Taylor brought her ex to her husband’s game. 

I don’t know about all that, but I do know about the Taylor/sports story I’m really having a blast with: her light beef with my favorite Knicks benchman, Tyler Kolek.

Last week, a video surfaced of Tyler Kolek (out of nowhere) saying the biggest casual at MSG was Taylor Swift. Deuce McBride agreed, by the way, but just before warning Tyler that he was about to get metaphorically jumped by Swifties. 

It seems that video struck a nerve with Taylor — or perhaps the Knicks/MSG decided to release a statement of their own accord, claiming Taylor was not a casual. she was, in fact, a great friend of the venue. If I ever get in public beef with a pro hooper, I expect my wedding venue to release something similar, by the way. 

Then, we got this tweet. 

And shortly after, Jordan Clarkson posted an IG story of Tyler belting Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” as an unofficial apology. 

But also an official one. 

This is all pretty silly to me. It’s ok to start low-stake beef, as long as it isn’t a serious attack on character. You shouldn’t have to apologize.  

Just like these Tweets about how Tyler Kolak can’t read (throwback) are hilarious. He was a great sport about those jokes. 

Tyler Kolek, get behind me.  

It’s not a new phenomenon to see animals making their way onto fields mid-game. Squirrels, possums, cats, dogs — we’ve pretty much seen them all interrupt a game at one point or another.

But this weekend in particular seemed to be a big one for animal invasions in the sports kingdom. What are they trying to tell us? 

Drum roll, please, for this weekend’s biggest four-legged and winged stars…

 A corgi (after his halftime performance) at the Broncos-Panthers game Sunday. 

Maybe it’s a Panther thing, because there were birds flying around at the Capitols-Panthers NHL game Saturday. 

Also on Sunday, pigeons — yes, pigeons — found their way to the court for the Virginia-Arkansas men’s hoops game. 

So, what do these animals want us to know? It’s a mystery, but I have some theories.