The Most Shocking Trade Ever

…Just in time for Valentine’s Day. Well, actually, the main story is that A’ja had her #22 jersey retired on 2/2, and she gave a touching speech. But, with Bam courtside, she also finally publicly acknowledged our favorite secret couple’s existence. 

Caitlin’s #22 jersey was retired on 2/2, too. Many people are saying, “isn’t that a little fast?” to which Iowa said: we could all be dead soon, nothing matters, live in the now. Also,  Nike did not miss with her commemorative varsity jacket. And Iowa upset USC. 

Imagine rolling up to your WBC title fight in Timbs-inspired boots and jorts. And winning. Stephen Fulton doesn’t have to just imagine it. Iconic. 

Pack your Uggs and sound the didgeridoo. The NFL is going down under! The Rams and Eagles will face off at Melbourne Cricket Ground in the first-ever NFL Australia game.

It’s the Celebrity All-Star Game, only for electric car racing. These actors and influencers will pair up with Formula E drivers for intensive training, culminating in an event where they will become drivers themselves. They’re calling them Evo Sessions. 

As you know, we’re always online, so you don’t have to be—and boy, were we online this weekend (so was Kevin Love, as always). On Saturday night, NBA reporter Shams Charania broke the internet, and the internet reacted accordingly. By that, we mean everyone thought he was hacked.   

A three-team trade between the Lakers, Mavs, and Jazz, sent Luka to LA and AD to Texas (by the way, if everything really is bigger in Texas, he’ll finally have to play center, a role he famously hates). Reports said the Mavs approached the Lakers with a Luka offer because they were disappointed in his conditioning. Regardless of the reason, everyone from players to fans to execs were confused, but Mavs GM Nico Harrison defended his decision. 

The news was a catalyst for a record scratch heard ‘round the world. The Suns and Blazers both saw the news in-game. KD couldn’t believe it. CJ McCollum packed a doomsday kit, just in case. For a moment, we forgot about the Jimmy Butler saga, but surely he (or the Heat) will do something to remind us in the coming days (dare we predict a new hairdo?!). 

This trade was so ineffable, so unbelievable, so bewildering that two days later, we’re all still trying to figure out how to talk about it—especially to our loved ones who don’t follow sports. 

How do you explain that this trade was something you’d see a Lakers fan put into the trade machine and post with all sincerity, while it gets ratio’d by Mavs fans because it could never happen in real life, or even in NBA 2k? We recommend putting it in the context of Challengers, btw. 

And as is true with everything in life, there are the naysayers who claim this won’t pay off for LA either. Paul Pierce, we respect your commitment to being a hater. Meanwhile, Mavs fans are in literal mourning at American Airlines Center. And Luka’s lack of mention for the organization kinda speaks volumes. 

If you’re surprised there were no rumblings about this happening before it went down, you aren’t alone. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of people who did not know about the trade beforehand: 

Luka; LeBron; Jason Kidd; possibly Mark Cuban, who we still haven’t heard from, but who famously said this years ago; Patrick Mahomes;  Us; Your mom.

This weekend answered a burning question we all desperately needed an answer to. Does the NBA still have the juice?

It turns out the answer is yes. After the aforementioned earth-shattering, world-stopping trade went down, thousands of users who had nearly given up on NBA Twitter flocked back to the platform. It seems to have become a universal truth: nothing gets people talking quite like the NBA. 

But will the chatter of this weekend aid in the renaissance the NBA has so desperately needed this year? It’s possible, but the question then becomes: where will discourse take place? Is NBA Twitter back?

As controversy has swirled around the site (largely due to its owner, Elon Musk, being a polarizing figure), user numbers have declined.

But for sports fans, their discourse still seeks a place to call home. It didn’t take much (ok, this was perhaps the biggest trade of all time, but still) to get us all back scrolling like the old days.

This week, as all eyes are on football and the impending Super Bowl, we can now expect conversations to continue to swirl around basketball—the latter, of course, having spent decades attempting to usurp the former. 

So, it seems the NBA hoops takes rage on, regardless of whether or not the takes have an official home. Whether the discourse is taking place in person, on X, or on rival platform, Bluesky (which had what seemed like its first huge night for NBA discourse), for now, the NBA is back. 

You just can’t deny the magic of a night spent chatting on social media after a huge cultural moment. 

NOLA kings and queens—and Super Bowl goers—you’re gonna need to grab tickets to this. Rachel Bonnetta is doing a mini-residency at SPORTSDRINK, a comedy club slash cafe slash third space on Toledano Street. 

Hoops heads: plan ahead and head to any of these bars to watch some heady AU teams go head-to-head on Wednesday as the season tips off. 

Avoid work by putting some random trades in a trade generator and see if your team could get arguably the third-best player in the world.