The Internet Has Entered The Super Bowl Zone

…Be sure to wear (something suitable for all of these events) in your hair. That’s how the song goes, right? From Post Malone to Sting to Olivia Dean and Shaboozey, everyone and their dogs will be performing at some point during the week.

So, I know this sounds crazy…but basically, this Olympic snowboarder is Canada slash America’s Pablo Escobar? Ryan Wedding, aka the largest cocaine supplier in the Land of Maple, was just taken into custody for drug trafficking. Don’t really know what else to say. 

If you haven’t yet, there’s no better time than the present to read my interview with Trinity Rodman in GQ. Yeah, that GQ! I was lucky enough to chat with her right after she announced she’d stay in the NWSL (and become the highest-paid women’s soccer player in the world). Because we’re tight like that, obviously.  

Speaking of Trinity, she was wearing Willy Chavarria when we chatted. And so is everyone else. The designer has become the undisputed fashion choice for footballers. But there’s more to him than that. Read on here.  You will be rewarded.

Several members of the sports sphere (especially those in Minnesota) released statements in support of Minneapolis’ protesting citizens. From KAT to Tyrese Haliburton to Breanna Stewart (and all of Unrivaled) to Chris Finch. 

Half of the country watched the NFC Championship Game from under a blanket of snow, which obviously helped the ratings. 

The Seahawks-Rams matchup was fairly mild weather-wise. Nothing compared to the AFC game, which we’ll talk about below. 

But even before anyone got out to experience the weather, Puka Nacua showed up dripping. Or, not, depending on who you ask. 

And Marshawn rolled up on a Lime Bike. 

The main storyline of the game for Seattle was everything Jaxon Smith-Njigba did. I don’t even know which memes to link to. 

Sam Darnold would probably agree, JSN’s one of the reasons they’ll be at the big game. By the way, it’s worth mentioning (I think?) that both “Mikes” beat both “Seans” in the conference championships. 

The Patriots beat the Broncos, and no one is more excited than Cardi B.

Except maybe all of America, according to my friend, Josh. 

The game went from clear skies to “everything is invisible” real quick. 

Sideline reporter Evan Washburn got complimentary frosted tips. 

I knew the Patriots would win when I saw a barefoot (as always) Mack Hollins reenact the infamous “Warriors” scene on his way out to the field.

But Friend of the Newsletter and unapologetic New Englandah Charlotte Wilder was in disbelief (and tears) after the big win. 

And then the Queen of New England, aka Drake Maye’s wife, Ann Michael Maye, showed up in a faux fur number that Erin Andrews would approve of.  

Shout out to Ann for this, too.  

And most importantly, does this mean we’ll finally learn the identity behind @DrakeMayeLover? Seems like no. But maybe?!