Reality TV Had Nothing On This Week In Sports

…With many stories to tell. Like, how Breanna Stewart swears she sees a light at the end of the negotiation tunnel with the WNBA. Although at this point I’m more likely to believe it’s some paint on a dark black wall, Looney Tunes style. But I’m open-minded! 

If you’re a college football fan, you’ve probably heard about Homefield Apparel, either from me here or somewhere else. But you may not know how good their origin story is. They were born out of heartbreak, and now (probably) have their own parade float. 

Beware of job scams. Like this one, where soccer manager Adrian Heath thought he was interviewing for a job in Saudi Arabia, but where he was actually kidnapped. No quip here. Just an insane story. 

If you’re going to the Australian Open, you already know what to expect, tennis-wise. The best of the best, obviously. But for all the other stuff, from food to drink to big-time performers, you’ll need this. Also, probably some sunscreen. And a didgeridoo. Australia joke!! 

Where were you in 2016? More importantly, where was Caitlin Clark in 2016? The Ringer’s Seerat Sohi found out. 

I am back from a very lovely week off, which was my first time traveling without a laptop in…maybe ever! And by the way, I already know, the newsletter was better than ever, I don’t need to hear it from you. Thank you, Dan, for crushing it, but honestly, let’s move on. 

When you really strip it down to its skivvies, sports is just reality TV in a different package. Actually, the same package now, since the two air on the same streaming services. Anyways. 

This week, the girlies are fighting. And I mean really fighting. Dan gave you the lowdown on the Beckham family drama already, but it’s here if you need. 

But other families are fighting, too. Like the Buss family, pre-sale of their family’s dynastic NBA team, of whom you may have heard, the Los Angeles Lakers. Jeanie allegedly fired every sibling. Jim, Johnny, Janie, Joey, and Jesse. Apparently, she was even mad at LeBron, even though their relationship gave us one of the best clips on the internet! 

Buffalo Bills owner and Jessica Pegula’s dad, Terry Pegula (for those that are just now learning that, welcome), kind of popped off in a presser, citing the loss to the Broncos as the reason for his controversial move to fire coach Sean McDermott. Confusing, because that’s really not what lost the game if you ask me, but no one asked me. No one ever asks me….

And why did he throw my Little Guy™ Keon Coleman under the bus like this? 

And is there proof of the opposite being true? It seems yes.

Moving on, the Warriors are fighting because Jonathan Kuminga wants a trade. But GM Mike Dunleavy said one of the meanest or sickest burns of all time, depending on where you stand: “When you make a demand, there needs to be a demand…” Brutal. 

In Miami, Marina Mabrey and Courtney Williams are fighting on camera, but they swear there’s no bad blood off camera. Classic reality TV move. 

Ok, that was a lot. Maybe a nice distraction from the reality-TV-esque moments in your life, though, no?

WNBA teams released their schedules on social and I have to say I lurve the creativity. 

The Valks gave Kayla Thornton the mic for theirs—or should we say the stylus. Ok, graphic design!

The Lynx channeled A24 movies with their release. I don’t really understand the references but I am pretty jetlagged, and either way, I love the effort. 

The Wings gave us a mockumentary that would make NBC’s Thursday night lineup in 2013, featuring rapper Monaleo.

The best of the best (and not only because of my PNW roots) is the Portlandia release. Thank you, Portland Fire.  

And the biggest question I have is: how much should I read into Ellie’s predecessor, Maddie the Lion, being in the Liberty’s announcement?