My Little Guys Of The NFL Playoffs, Ranked

…LeBron let his 11-year-old daughter Zhuri style his tunnel fit. The best part is how proud our GOAT was of the fit. Some of the comments say it’s the best fit he’s ever worn. Seems like people are already booking appointments with Zhuri, five years in advance (you know, child labor laws and all).

You are cordially invited to the chicest sporting events of the year. Not by me, I can’t afford to bankroll you, but I’m sure you’d gain entrée to most of these. From the ice to the clay, to the road and the sea, luxury sports are on the rise, and they’re calling your name. As long as you have a good credit card. 

Sometimes you’ll see that [brand] is the official [product] of the [league] and you’ll wonder, “Does a soccer league need an official power tool supplier?” Other times, you’ll see First Aid Beauty become the official partner of Team USA, and you’ll think, “Good call! Get these athletes some hydration!” 

The numbers are in! More than one in three college football players are now in the transfer portal. I am not an NCAA executive (I just play one on TV), but it might be time to take another look at things and make some changes.  

Tobin Heath once told me, in this very newsletter, that we needed more soccer movies. I guess she also told some Spanish movie execs the same thing, because a soccer film, inspired by FC Barcelona’s Alexia Putellas, is in production. And I’ll watch.

“Go Off” is a special edition of our daily newsletter, featuring my thoughts, takes, and general vibes, presented to OffBall readers every Tuesday. 

Storytelling is basically civilization’s oldest trade. Ever since the cave guys from the Geico commercial picked up a pointy rock and started drawing things on walls, we’ve been obsessed with storylines. It’s especially true for sports fans. We live, eat, and breathe the storylines. On and off the field. In leagues like the NFL, oftentimes, the storylines are driven by the personalities. 

When my team doesn’t make the playoffs (read: this year), I have to dig deep to figure out which players I’m going to die for on a whim. Who has the best story? Who are the characters I want to follow into battle for the next few weeks? I often refer to these select players (men, women, nonbinary) as my “little guys.” So, I’m going to share that list of little guys with you, my one million closest friends. Yep, that’s how many subscribers this newsletter has! 

I’m counting down the 10 best little guys in the playoffs, in case you don’t have a specific team you want to win for arbitrary reasons like some of us (favorite animal is the mascot, color analysis says you look great in orange, etc.), but you still need a little guy of your own. 

By the way, the barometer for what makes a little guy is simple. They have to be funny, stylish, or just plain sweeties. Walk with me.

10. Broncos - Nik Bonitto, LB

If you know Casa Bonita, or you’ve seen the South Park episode, you might also know Nik Bonitto, because they call him Casa Bonitto. You can read his full story here, but he’s really made a name for himself on the field. And off the field, he’s a cover boy who looks great in jorts. 

9. Panthers - Bryce Young, QB 

Some of these little guys will be obvious. Like Bryce Young, who knows ball (basketball). Plus, when it comes to music, he also knows ball. Although he did technically butcher Keyshia Cole, and now I have to listen to the real version to reset the universe.

8. Packers - Josh Jacobs, RB

Josh Jacobs, certified sweetie. Good on camera, too — especially for a house tour. 

7. 49ers - Brock Purdy, QB

I would not have selected Brock Purdy as an honorary little guy a few weeks ago, but I like the dance. Sue me!  

6. Steelers - Calvin Austin III, WR

Some guys just really embody what it means to be a little guy. Calvin Austin III being emotional after a huge catch sent them to the playoffs was very touching, and was enough to get him over that threshold anyways. But the fact that he’s doing many a regional commercial for coffee shops, and pet store brands, and participating in kids’ science camps kinda seals the deal. He is also literally a little guy (5’9”). 

5. Texans - Azeez Al-Shaair, LB

[Cris Collinsworth voice] Now here’s a guy who is just the best. I mean, listen Mike, he’s been open about his struggles (pinning this image, which shows how tough his childhood was, to the top of his IG feed). He spends a lot of his time giving back and spreading awareness about a plethora of social justice issues. Plus, he looks sick as hell doing it. 

4. Seahawks - DeMarcus Lawrence, DE

I have become a huge fan of DeMarcus Lawrence this year because of a personal anecdote that will take too long to explain, but basically, here it is. I was waiting after the Titans-Seahawks game just before Thanksgiving to say hi to my friend who is a coach on the Seahawks staff, and DeMarcus spent more time than any of the other players (by a large margin) saying hi and signing stuff for excited fans. No boomer, but that stuff really works on me. Also, he’s very good at football, if you’re into that. 

3. Bears - Caleb Williams, QB

Another obvious little guy is Caleb Williams. Everyone knows Caleb Williams. I personally love it when someone isn’t afraid to be exactly who they are. He never cared when people made fun of the nail polish or the matchas, and we love him for that.

2. Jaguars - Trevor Lawrence, QB 

Trevor Lawrence isn’t always on my radar, but now, thanks to his teammates, he has grills. Plus, he let this lady squat him at a bar. 

1. Bills - Keon Coleman, WR

Keon Coleman is hilarious. There are about 100 different TikToks of his funniest moments if you want to find them, but here are just a few. He golfs, despite being bad at it. If he weren’t a footballer, he’d be…uhhhhhh??? And when it comes to fashion, he loves a deal.

Today’s newsletter has been all about how fans can get behind any player with a storyline. That’s even true for darts. Which is a sport, yes. 

You probably don’t know about him, but Luke Littler, or The Nuke Littler, as some fan edits call him, is a professional darts player with two million IG followers and almost 1 million on TikTok. The English teen, and recently dubbed back-to-back world champ, has captivated audiences near and far recently. 

I didn’t even know darts was a sport until a few months ago, but after some research, I feel personally invested in this 18-year-old’s success now. He’s single-handedly convincing an entire generation to tune into his sport. Go on and search his name on any social media platform. You will be astonished at how many people are talking about him. So I guess we all should be!