Come For The Super Bowl, Stay For The Commercials

…In expected fashion, threw down some banger quotes. For starters, “a lot of people don’t see the story before the glory.” He also gave us a hint about what to expect Sunday: Storytelling. 

What are these rappers running from? Actually, they’re running toward survival, wellness, and community. 

Netflix is considering a new formula: bidding on the US broadcast rights to F1. ESPN currently holds the rights, but with the window for negotiation opening up, and the streaming giant’s recent live sports success, it’s kind of a no-brainer. 

Roger Federer is teaming up with On and Elmo to bring you the best, biggest, something of the year (we’re guessing). This little teaser doesn’t tell us much, but we’re definitely intrigued. A cryptocurrency collab? A limited-edition sneaker? A book of poetry? Let’s not rule anything out. 

Everyone is watching women’s sports, and not just on TV. Women athletes are huge on TikTok. The WSL, WTA, WNBA, and others are growing like crazy, and some are even amassing more views than their male counterparts. Ilona Maher racked up 1.4B views in 2024. Yesterday’s price is not today’s price.

@jaboowins

Y’all need a ride? @NFLonFOX

There once was a time when we would gather around our television sets, turn the dial, and watch commercials as they aired live. Now, we get our Super Bowl commercials as the football gods intended, days before the game itself. Luckily, Google released theirs with enough time to redo an AI snafu. 

Keep reading if you want to see teasers and spoilers on other commercials. If you are a Super Bowl commercial purist, we recommend you avert your eyes; this will only hurt for a second. 

Everyone’s favorite scene from everyone’s favorite rom-com gets a remake, and Sydney Sweeney joins. Antonio Banderas breaks the fourth wall with WWE’s Randy Savage and a jar of pickles. James Harden is said to join Adam Brody for an all-you-can-eat Pringles party. Besties Tim and Sam are up to something with aliens (the details don’t matter, it’s gonna be good) and Totino’s.  

And if you want beer ads, we’ve got ‘em. Post Malone and Shane Gillis kinda give robber vibes in this teaser, but kind of in a good way. Stella Artois implies the existence of a second David Beckham (rumor is it’s Matt Damon). Michelob Ultra, the working-out man’s beer, put together this little ditty with hustlers Catherine O’Hara and Willem Defoe (and Randy Moss and Sabrina Ionescu). 

And since we’ve covered food and beer, we’ve gotta cover America’s third biggest pastime as well: taxes. Issa Rae is here to remind you that it’s already February (yikes). 

And, the undisputed king of commercials so far, in our humble opinions, is the cold brew-induced dance party with Channing Tatum and Wrexham FC. 

If it’s a battle of commissioners this week, Silver might have the edge over Goodell. Dwyane Wade’s theory about what prompted this wacko NBA trade season is that NBA billionaires are orchestrating an attempt to get more eyes on the league after a very successful Christmas Day for the NFL. So, could this all be part of a greater scheme to overshadow other sports, especially during Super Bowl week? 

There are way too many trades to name, and since this isn’t called the OffBall newslist, we can’t go through them all. The gist is that Luka, AD, De’Aaron Fox, Zach Lavine, Jimmy, Brandon Ingram, Khris Middleton, Kuz, and many others will be donning new jerseys. No one has had a weirder go than Dennis Schröeder, who went from the Nets to the Warriors, to the Jazz, to (possibly) no one, and then to the Pistons in a matter of three days.

If there is some kind of conspiracy, we’re doin’ some hypothesizing, and the WNBA must be part of the scheme, too. 

Head to the SPORT BEACH Clubhouse at 611 Fulton Street at 10 am for a special panel on How Sports Became A Fashion Business with Flau’jae Johnson and others. More info on that here. If you can’t make it today, no worries—swing by the Clubhouse anyway! All weekend long.